Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
vagina is talking i cant
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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