dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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