If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
