meet me or not, i'm out of control
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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