jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
