dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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