have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
