Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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