Already got asked if we're dating
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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