Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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