Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
