so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
