Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
