For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
