ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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