And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
