You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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