Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Randomize
