there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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