things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
