Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
