i don't plan on having that self control this summer
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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