is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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