Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize