Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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