That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
