I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
