Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
