I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
