walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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