Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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