With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
