Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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