You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
