My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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