Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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