I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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