so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
