the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
