so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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