I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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