I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
