Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
