with your own penis?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Randomize
