we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
