Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
