office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
