So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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