If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
