you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Having a random hookup so left but love u
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
